Coaching TopicsThese are some of the many ways in which I help my clients.
“It’s not the load that breakes you down; it’s the way you carry it.”
There are many types of stress, like the biological and the physical stress. But the one that is causing the most trouble arround the world nowadays is the psychological stress.
Before civilization as we know it today, men was exposed to real dangers such as being chased by a lion or not having enough to eat. Nowadays we have found solutions to most of those problems, but we are designed genetically to look for danger. So our minds started focusing on psychological danger instead: “is she going to like me?”, “if I don’t finish this on time I might get fired”, “what are people going to think if don’t dress properly”.
What we feel as stress is the release of the stress hormones in our bloodstream. They affect our ability to think rationally, debilitate our inmune system and affect our overal health.
Most our stressors are not real dangers but only perceived dangers. There is no possible real harm, but the mind doesn’t care, because it’s a matter of beliefs. If you believe it, it is real for you and you will have a stress response. So managing stress is usually about managing the way we think about our circumstances, more than about changing the circumstances.
The way we approach stress is by first defining the perceived problem and then understanding the real psychological cause behind it. So if you say that a colleague stresses you, for instance, we might end up discovering that the real problem is that you think your colleague should be working more. The cause of the stress is not the colleague, but your belief about how much people should work. Changing that belief would immediately stop your body’s release of stress hormones, therefore liberating you from that response. We can also teach you the skills to have a more resilient nervous system.
What we do is make changes in a higher neurological level than where the problem is, therefore solving the problem from the root. As Einstein once said: You cannot solve a problem from the same level of consciousness that created it; you must learn to see the world anew.
The problem: A client was very stressed, which was impacting his life in many ways. He had no idea what to do and he thought that there was not much to do, which is a perfect recipe for future burnout and severe health problems, including death.
The solution: After talking about his situation, we found many causes of stress in his daily life. He was not eating properly, he wouldn’t draw a line between work and home, he would check his emails in bed before sleeping and many other behaviors that he could and should avoid. But we also discovered the main cause of his stress, the one that even with all others covered he would still be stressed. It was the belief that if he would lower his work rhythm he would loose his job. We challenged his belief and made a plan to check if there were real reasons to think that; it turned out that there weren’t. His boss confirmed that he was the best in the office and would never think of letting him go.
The result: This gave him the freedom to relax and lower his pace. The stress was gone. It also allowed him to focus on his relationships and his health, which improved his wellbeing even more. And making little changes in his daily habits, he was able to improve the quality of his sleep and enjoy his free time even more.
I was not able to sleep at night. I was worried and overwhelmed with work duties. This caused an anxiety condition that was affecting my health and my mood.
Thanks to the NLP Coaching work with Juan, I managed to control and handle all the job duties, manage my time better and even be able to sleep again. Work was no longer taking control of my life.
I am a happy man today. I can handle my emotions better. I am not frustrated or have those bad moods anymore, and I’m having good results both at work and in my private life.Juan Lopez